Baguio Bean

I'm just an ordinary bean, so beat it.
Move on. I exist only to be eaten.

Friday, March 31, 2006


Some plants, who I must shamefully admit are also baguio beans like me, are taking up my space! They just sprouted beside me, and now they have the audacity to compete for the food and water that rightfully belongs to ME. What's worse is that there's three of them, and only one of me. One of them is a whiner; another one is a whako; and the other one is a wimp.

Two days ago at about sunrise, I woke up to the sound of a scream.
"Help. Where am I," a voice said, "Wait. What am I?"
I was about to ignore him when I realized that he was beside me. The last thing I want for my waking hour is noise. I was about to silence the wimp (What a way to start life: scream in fear?) when I heard other voices. Apparently, the wimp was not alone. It had friends.
"I don't like it here," another voice said, "It's so crowded."
"You just have to bear with it," still another voice added, "I think we're now alive."
At this, the voices hushed. It took them that long to know they were alive. I had thought that all baguio beans were smart. I just realized it was not true. So far, I've found only one smart baguio bean, but it's pretty obvious who he is.
Then the voices started again. I could not stand their whiny voices that I shouted at them.
"Will you upstarts cut it out," I said, "Some plants need to sleep." The upstarts darted to silence.
"Please, can you tell us what we must do," the whako one said, "We just woke up."
The sprout actually made sense. However, he pointed out such an obvious fact that I had to stop myself from laughing. Does he think I'm that dumb not to notice that they had just woke up?
"And the place is too crowded," the whiner one said, "I can't get enough food from the ground."
As if it's my problem that I sprouted ahead of them. I get to get more nutrients than they do. My root network is vaster and more efficient than theirs. They will be destined to stunted growth while I to greatness far more than they could have ever imagined.
"Well, it's not my problem," I said. At this the wimp cowered, but I promptly ignored him along with the rest of them. They won't be getting much from me. After all, they just had the honor of being near to me, the greatest bean ever.
I would have been contented that morning if the upstarts had remained silent. They resumed their shameless noise a minute after that incident. After trying hard to coax me to talking again, they ignored me, and then talked among themselves. I'm afraid that I'll get sick listening to their noise all day. How am I to survive from them?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Tree Problem

That tree deserves to be felled, chopped, and burned like the useless firewood that he is. How dare he insult me, the best bean ever. To think I gave him the honor of listening to ME. I do hope he falls down spontaneously, or get hit by lightning, pronto! On second thought, I take that back. I don't want to get squashed by its useless tinder. Of all the deaths a bean could die from, getting squashed by a useless tree is the worst.

Nuff said about that useless tree. I don't want to talk to him ever again.

I have, however, another problem aside from that tree. I feel three pressure points near my roots, pushing me. I don't know what they mean. I just hope it's nothing serious...

Saturday, March 25, 2006


My first night felt cold.
Nevertheless, it was a respite from the sun's rays. The day turned out bad, not what I had expected with my first day. The sun almost boiled me in the mid-afternoon. Fortunately, I was hidden under the shadow of a tree come late afternoon. If that tree had not been there, I would have been scorched to oblivion.
Night's shadows sheltered me when the sun waved goodbye. I basked in the cold moonlight, alone. There is no one near me that I would consider worth talking to, least of all sharing my thoughts. Wait. I take that back. There is that tree that guarded me from the scorching sun. I should talk to him tomorrow. He deserves that much of a reward.

Friday, March 24, 2006


I'm alive.
From the ashes I rise. From the ground I awaken. Now is my time to live. Now is the time for my domination.

I peep my two shy green leaves at the gentle sun. I can feel its UV churning water and air in them to form sugars in my chloroplasts. I won't bother you by explaining how I do it. I know such knowledge is beyond the grip of mammals like you.

Yet despite owning knowledge beyond mammals, I know I'm still immature. I still have a lot to learn before I fulfill my existence, whatever that is. Nevertheless, I will deal with such questions later. What's more important is that I'm alive.
I'm alive in the full sense of the word. I'm not like some mammals there who are reading my thoughts. They are not truly alive. They just exist. If they were not subsisting on food and water, they would have been just as dead as this rock next to me is. And to think these mammals think they are above me. I pity these poor creatures. I wish they could think, really think the way i do. But I must take that back. If they could think like I do, they would really be above me.
Yes, lowly mammals, I think, therefore, I am.